JAILBIRDS

 

 

 

 

 

blog photo 58 jailbirds.JPGWHAT IT IS

The Avicultural Advancement Council of Canada and the Fowl Actors Guild has sent four representatives to Mildred Duck’s Grassy Narrows enclave amidst rumors that mistreatment of pigeons was taking place under her care.

Although flatly denying these misconduct charges, Mildred did maintain that a group of pigeons from the Gros Cap/Sault Ste Marie area were having difficulty adjusting to the strict discipline Mildred demands from her performers. Pictured her are the aforementioned pigeons sitting about their enclosed compound between rehearsals.

WHAT IT IS NOT

After the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989, millions of documents, photographs, research papers and other material was made available to western governments. It took decades for authorities to comb through this information; looking for clues regarding what the Stasi, KGB and other state run secret police were up to during the cold war.

One obscure file, authored by a M. Schulz, outlined an experiment where flocks of common pigeons and Spanish rock doves were trained to fly into jet engine and propeller aircraft. The report concluded that modest success was achieved, sighting a small passenger aircraft flying out of Hamburg that was brought down by a small flock of rock doves.

 

 

DOG’S EYE

 

 

 

 

blog photo 57 dog's eye.JPGWHAT IT IS

It was the kind of snow that was thick, wet and heavy and it was quickly piling up on the backs of two of the finest dogs in the Boston canine unit. One of the dogs had been outfitted with a miniscule eye camera and he was recording a drug transaction going down in a parking lot off Dorchester Ave.

Just before the drug unit was to move in, a speeding Honda civic crashed into a tractor trailer at the intersection of Dorchester and Park.

If it is true that a camera never lies, then the Boston Police Department were looking at some very unusual activity. The camera clearly showed a teddy bear hanging on to the boomerang of a stretch limousine, laughing like a hyena and grinning like a Cheshire cat while a Honda civic was chasing the limo in hot pursuit. The limo made it through the intersection, but the civic’s progress was interrupted by Mutt Jefferson’s trailer.

WHAT IT IS NOT

The pictured Canine Olympian from Beaver Falls Pennsylvania, has received special contact lens designed to help him in the 13-Fetch competitions in the upcoming second canine Olympics slated for Salt Lake City, Utah. For those not in the know, the 13-Fetch competitions sees canine athletes in a timed event where they are required to fetch 13 beef bones buried on a one hectare field.

PLOT 82

blog photo 56 Yellow PlantWHAT IT IS

Around the University of Missouri, the sister duo Dizzy and Bella Barnhart, were well known for their academic prowess, sizzling sense of humor, and commitment to the task at hand.  That they were related to Frank James didn’t harm their popularity.  When Bayer Crop Science needed a couple of summer students to monitor Plot 82, James offered up Dizzy and Bella for the job. Unfortunately for James, it would be the last time he’d see his young cousins.

Plot 82 was heavily saturated with a new neonicotinoid which was similar to Imidacloprid but was said to be much more effective. Dizzy and Bella’s work on Plot 82 was to simply observe insect mortality and any other behaviors deemed relevant.

On the fourth day into their work, Dizzy and Bella were seen walking trance-like out of Plot 82, through Plots 92, 98, and 103 and into a thick forested area close-by.

WHAT IT IS NOT

Bright lights streaked across the night sky, hovered momentarily, moved again in random-reckless patterns before landing on the south-east part of the island. After a second night of this display, Parks Canada staff decided to trek in the general direction of the lights to uncover what was causing this phenomenon.

The small horses on Sable Island are a calm, sturdy bunch and did not seem at all disturbed by either the presence of the employees or the strange yellow plants now growing on the beach and being happily ingested by the forty or so horses roaming the area. As the employees gathered up samples of the plant, they came across two University of Missouri student ID tags: Dizzy Barnhart and Bella Barnhart.

 

THE CANOLA FIELD

 

blog photo 55 Canola Field.JPGWHAT IT IS

Davey Doucet was a young man, barely twenty-one years old, but from the time he was ten he had known he wanted to grow up to be a private investigator, or as uncle Ned would say …a gumshoe. Ned, a patrolman in Beaver County Pennsylvania, invited his nephew down from Davey’s home in Yarmouth, Nova Scotia to help his uncle work a suspicious house fire case. Ned was actually humoring the boy, but he liked Davey and rather enjoyed the young fellow’s company.

Cinder Willoughby was admiring the long, bright yellow canola fields when he spotted Ned and Davey walking along the side of the rural road. He recognized Ned right away and pulled over his pick-up truck to see what was going on. Ned told Willoughby of young Davey’s investigative aspirations,  and how Davey seemed determined to find the cause of the fire. Willoughby offered the two the diary he had found at the scene of the fire, although it contained little information.  However, it was evident that at some point the diary had been immersed in seawater. He also suggested that there might be a connection between those who lived in the house and Brier Island…a place not far from Yarmouth, Nova Scotia. Willoughby explained that the plants found in the garden of the burned house may have originated on Brier Island.

This could be Davey Doucet’s first official investigation.  Coming from a town not far from Brier Island made Davey especially enthusiastic to take on this investigation, although who was going to pay for his efforts remained unclear.

 

WHAT IT IS NOT

Will Offley was up at first light.  Under his skillful hand the tractor, with a grader blade attached, scraped the gravel runway to a smooth surface.  His daughter, Samantha Gallant, was flying her Beaver aircraft to the farm to be stored in one of the barns, and she was staying to help with the canola harvest.

Samantha arrived right on schedule.  Will and Beatrice recognized the sweet high pitch sound of her approach and were anxiously waiting on the runway when the plane touched down. Will grabbed Samantha’s gear.  Walking ahead of them all the way to the house,  he gave the two women space to reenact their mother and daughter customs and familiarities.

After supper, when Samantha and Beatrice were doing the dishes, Will approached Samantha about something that had been upsetting him. Several weeks ago a young man from Nova Scotia had driven onto the property and had asked a lot of questions about Samantha, about when she was a child and about a house fire up the county near Ellwood City. The young man had given his name as Davey Doucet.  Samantha stated flatly that she did not recognize the name.

THE RABBIT

 

 

 

blog photo 54 the rabbit.jpgWHAT IT IS

A fluffle of rabbits found near Hunters Mountain, Cape Breton Nova Scotia have been found to have extremely high levels of the herbicide 2,4,5 T. Students from Dalhousie University stumbled across the bunnies while doing forest inventory work near the community. The odd demeanor and disheveled appearance of the rabbits, prompted the students to delve deeper into what was causing this situation. This discovery has raised alarm bells because the chemical in question was banned from use in 1985.

The Nova Scotia Department of Lands and Forests asked Monsanto to investigate because they were contracted by the department in the 1980’s and 90’s to do herbicide work all over Cape Breton. A third- party investigator, Cinder Willoughby, has also been brought in.

WHAT IT IS NOT

On Sunday mornings Margaret Brookside often takes the short drive from Beaver Falls to Ellwood City to check out the activity around the stone trestle that has morphed into a mini tourist attraction by folks from around the county and beyond. If she gets there early enough the crowds are usually thin and she gets an unobstructed view of the goings on.

On her last visit a rabbit emerged carrying two oak leaves in it’s mouth. When Margaret went to look at the leaves, leaf miners had carved 46.1300N on one leaf and 81.7211W on the other. It was a few days later when Margaret discovered the numbers were more or less the latitude and longitude of Willis Mountain, Ontario Canada.

 

THE BLUE JAY

 

 

blog photo 53 bluejay.JPGWHAT IT IS

Cinder Willoughby wanted to know where the critters were disappearing to when they went under the stone trestle near Ellwood City, Pennsylvania. He cleverly developed a super micro biodegradable GPS that he placed inside peanuts destined for the stomachs of blue jays that frequented the area.

He crafted four GPS’s and the birds quickly devoured them before disappearing beneath the stone trestle. Willoughby fired up his laptop and watched in disbelief as the jays crossed vast distances in just a few minutes. One crossed the US/Canada boarder heading to Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, another to Boston Massachusetts, the third to San Francisco and the fourth flying to the open waters of the Caribbean.

WHAT IT IS NOT

It is a well-known fact the Bohemian Waxwings will often flock together sharing their food among one another. Mutt Jefferson observed this behavior one evening at Mississagi Provincial Park as he was admiring a huge motorhome pulling into a campsite. The waxwings, sitting in a stand of Pin cherries, were passing berries from one bird to the next until one would decide to eat the fruit.

Interestingly, a number of blue jays watching this exhibition of communalism, started sharing acorns with one another.

 

THE PRESIDENT

 

blog photo 52 beanWHAT IT IS

The President of the International Canine Olympic Committee, pictured here, announced that the location of its new headquarters would be Dog Town, Mono County California. The long abandoned gold rush era town was purchased by the committee from Mono county officials for an undisclosed amount. Construction of the new facility is expected to start immediately with a completion date slated for late 2018.

The announcement also included results from the doping investigation undertaken after the inaugural canine Olympics. The investigation proclaimed that all medals awarded would stand as given. The investigators reasoned that the Nevis Olympic team ingested an unknown and undetermined compound that was not on the banned substance list.

 

WHAT IT IS NOT

It was perhaps the most complicated avalanche rescue ever undertaken in Western Canada. A group of skiers were swept away near the Sunshine Village ski resort and came to rest some forty feet under the snow, inside a rock ledge. The air pocket was only large enough for the six skiers to sustain themselves for a few hours.

A fourteen inch diameter hole was drilled down close to the skiers location and the wee pouch pictured here was outfitted with an air hose and medical supplies and lowered down to the skiers below. The rescue dog made his way to the huddled skiers waiting under the rock ledge. Heavy equipment was eventually brought into the site and all six Monsanto employees were rescued. An exhausted Dr. Micheal K. Stein had high praise for the canine and offered a sizable donation to the school training the rescue dogs.