

Slim Clemons was a generous man and his generosity was fully evident to the winner of the 2017 Miss Teddy Bear North America contest. The winner, Ellie from Northern Ontario, was showered in the latest fashions and jewellery, given the use of a stretch limo for a full year, an all-expense-paid two-week vacation in the French quarter of New Orleans, and all this was topped off with a four-year scholarship to the University of Indianapolis.
Ellie wasted no time. Within a few days of her crowning, she took the limo to the Mercantile Hotel in New Orleans. She sat on the luxurious bed pondering what to do first. Teddy bears have a tendency to pack on the weight, so they don’t actually eat; they just love the smell of food cooking. With that in mind, Ellie pictured the hotel’s kitchen in her mind’s eye and within a millisecond was sitting high on a stainless steel cupboard watching the frantic staff preparing evening supper. As Ellie took in the sights and sounds, capricious head chef Rene Boudreaux caught a glimpse of Ellie, roared a dozen choice cuss words, picked up a meat cleaver and hurled it in Ellie’s direction. It was coming in fast, spinning blade over handle, and destined to hit her right between the eyes. Ellie imagined herself walking into the House of Blues and instantly found herself strolling into the most famous bar in New Orleans.
Ellie got a few feet inside the bar when the house bouncer, Tiny LeBlanc, mumbling that no teddy bears were allowed inside, grabbed her by the throat and started to escort her outside. Before reaching the exit Tiny was stopped by two women demanding he get his grubby gloved hands off their friend…immediately. Tiny acquiesced and Ellie joined Samantha Gallant, Margaret Brookside, and six other women for a night of drinks and dancing.