RABBIT

WHAT IT IS

Mutt Jefferson was hauling a load of lobster pots from the South Shore of Nova Scotia to St. John’s Newfoundland all the while keeping an eye out for Dizzy and Bella as he had promised Frank James he would do. He was making good time, but all this changed as he approached Big Pond on Hwy. 4. Mutt was descending a sizeable hill with a tight curve when a straight job approached, over hugging the center line. Mutt could see the driver looking at his lap, not paying attention and veering more and more into his lane. Mutt knew what to do, hit the brakes, hold the wheel steady and stay upright on the tarmac.

It could have been much worse. Mutt kissed the passenger side rear bumper causing the truck to spin a few degrees and slid backwards down the road’s steep embankment. The truck’s box, a wooden and canvas configuration, disintegrated on impact and hundreds of rabbits were set free to roam all over the ditch, the forest, the roadway.

Mutt and the two men from the other truck sat in the back of the RCMP cruiser sorting out documents, insurance and other papers required by the police. It turned out the ditched truck was driven by INSECT agents Jones and Brown and leased to Monsanto. Permits to remove wild rabbits from Cape Breton Island did not seem forth coming.

WHAT IT IS NOT

Margaret Brookside believed the regime change at Beaver Falls would put her out of work, so she used up her remaining vacation days and went to visit her old friend Drake Johnson who now lived on the beautiful Temagami River.

It was a most auspicious visit, as Johnson was feeling poorly. He told Margaret of hearing strange voices on the river at night, and after he went to investigate, found himself confused and lethargic. After nursing Johnson back to health, Margaret decided she was up for a little adventure and would finish what Johnson started.

She was told to paddle to Devil’s Mountain, take the first east-west portage and wait for a rabbit to escort her to the Devil’s Gorge. Johnson never got past the Gorge, so Margaret would be on her own. Indeed, a rabbit did show up and the two of them traipsed through the bush for several hours until coming upon a congregation of a hundred women and at least as many teddy bears.

Not wanting to get too close, Margaret strained to hear what was going on. The chatter seemed to be about all manner of things: environmental protection, teddy bear rights, insect subjugation, space tourism, human malfeasance, animal behavior…but everyone went deadly silent when Miles Hobbson emerged from the nearby forest.