Tag: Canine Olympics

JAIL

 

blog photo 95 bean in jailWHAT IT IS

Slim Clemons called it taking care of business, Mono county officials called it kickbacks and the President of the International Olympic Committee called it an innocent mistake.

When engineers were ready to lay down eight kilometers of dog run material at the Dog Town, California headquarters, Slim Clemons had the material ready to go at his Sacramento facility and struck a deal with project managers to deliver the goods. Clemons insisted a large donation of dog food to members of the Olympic Committee was unrelated to the dog run project.

The Canine Olympic President was briefly incarcerated by county officials but released within hours pending further investigation.

WHAT IT IS NOT

INSECT agent Williams was the kind of guy who was always late for work. He possessed a bevy of creative excuses for his constant tardiness, but none better than the one used on the first day back on the job after returning from the tunnels of Beaver County, Pennsylvania.

As he was running late and leaving his house on that morning, someone had deposited an enormous pile of dog dung on his front porch and as he ran out the door, found himself knee high in dog shit.

Coincidently, in the early morning hours previous, a small canine from Boston, Massachusetts was briefly detained by police for loitering the neighbourhood but was quickly let go when local authorities realized he too was police.

THE PRESIDENT INVESTIGATOR

blog photo 74 beanWHAT IT IS

In a wide- ranging interview with Reuters news agency, the president of the International Canine Olympic Committee issued progress updates regarding the construction schedule of their headquarters in Dog Town, California. According to the president, construction was on time and within budget, with completion anticipated near the end of the year. When Reuters reporter, Justine Flagstaff, asked about alleged kickbacks involving a financier from Indianapolis, Indiana and some committee members, the president abruptly ended the interview and barked orders to his staff to bring his car around.

WHAT IT IS NOT

After Beaver County patrolman Ned Doucet was released from an overnight stay in hospital, his supervisors reached out to the Boston Police Department to tap into their investigative expertise. Within a few days an experienced officer from the Canine Unit was dispatched to Beaver County to help local authorities determine exactly what happened to patrolman Doucet.

 

 

DOGS

blog photo 65 dogs in field (2).jpgWHAT IT IS

Perhaps it was their age and life experiences that led to their pessimistic view, but both Sofia Zuniga and Bokamoso Jacobs believed only a catastrophic event or events could alter the inevitable collision between humankind’s behavior and the survival of all other species on the planet. They were starting a journey of living among many of nature’s creatures to get a better sense of what they needed to survive and thrive. To facilitate this notion, what better way to bridge this gap than to enlist the services of ‘man’s best friend’, who hopefully could provide insight to both the human world and the ‘others’ world. It was Jasper and Chuckles who were chosen to spend the summer at the Chapleau Game Preserve to help Sofia and Bokamoso with this most interesting task.

WHAT IT IS NOT

Fallen trees, swollen creeks, acres of burdock, piles of granite rocks and every weed species known to Beaver County awaited the canine athletes participating in the Olympic trials for the Pawathon.

The Olympic Pawathon is a grueling fifty mile run through harsh, unforgiving terrain. Of the seventeen entrants only the two pictured dogs finished the event. The small dog in the background led all dogs for the first forty-nine miles, but the dog in the foreground managed to overtake the little fella in the final quarter mile.

DOG’S EYE

blog photo 57 dog's eye.JPGWHAT IT IS

It was the kind of snow that was thick, wet and heavy and it was quickly piling up on the backs of two of the finest dogs in the Boston canine unit. One of the dogs had been outfitted with a miniscule eye camera, and he was recording a drug transaction going down in a parking lot off Dorchester Ave.

Just before the drug unit was to move in, a speeding Honda civic crashed into a tractor trailer at the intersection of Dorchester and Park.

If it is true that a camera never lies, then the Boston Police Department were looking at some very unusual activity. The camera clearly showed a teddy bear hanging on to the boomerang of a stretch limousine, laughing like a hyena and grinning like a Cheshire cat while a Honda civic was chasing the limo in hot pursuit. The limo made it through the intersection, but the Civic’s progress was interrupted by Mutt Jefferson’s trailer.

WHAT IT IS NOT

The pictured Canine Olympian from Beaver Falls Pennsylvania, has received special contact lenses designed to help him in the 13-Fetch competitions in the upcoming second canine Olympics slated for Salt Lake City, Utah. For those not in the know, the 13-Fetch competitions sees canine athletes in a timed event where they are required to fetch 13 beef bones buried on a one hectare field.

THE PRESIDENT

 

blog photo 52 beanWHAT IT IS

The President of the International Canine Olympic Committee, pictured here, announced that the location of its new headquarters would be Dog Town, Mono County California. The long abandoned gold rush era town was purchased by the committee from Mono county officials for an undisclosed amount. Construction of the new facility is expected to start immediately with a completion date slated for late 2018.

The announcement also included results from the doping investigation undertaken after the inaugural canine Olympics. The investigation proclaimed that all medals awarded would stand as given. The investigators reasoned that the Nevis Olympic team ingested an unknown and undetermined compound that was not on the banned substance list.

 

WHAT IT IS NOT

It was perhaps the most complicated avalanche rescue ever undertaken in Western Canada. A group of skiers were swept away near the Sunshine Village ski resort and came to rest some forty feet under the snow, inside a rock ledge. The air pocket was only large enough for the six skiers to sustain themselves for a few hours.

A fourteen inch diameter hole was drilled down close to the skiers location and the wee pouch pictured here was outfitted with an air hose and medical supplies and lowered down to the skiers below. The rescue dog made his way to the huddled skiers waiting under the rock ledge. Heavy equipment was eventually brought into the site and all six Monsanto employees were rescued. An exhausted Dr. Micheal K. Stein had high praise for the canine and offered a sizable donation to the school training the rescue dogs.