No. 1

blog photo 41 bug leader

 WHAT IT IS

On a whim, Sapphire and Cricket headed to Washington D.C. aboard an Amtrak train to hear a speech by Fred Singer, a prominent U.S. climate change denier. During a stopover in Beaver Falls, two scruffy men in bad suites boarded the train and sat across from Sapphire and Cricket, both clutching maniacally to manila file folders. Within thirty minutes of departure, the smooth swaying of the train and the rhythmic clacking of the wheels caused the men to fall asleep, the contents of their folders dropping to the floor.

Sapphire couldn’t help but look. The documents, labeled “INSECT-CLASSIFIED”, described the pictured insect as: “No. 1 Leader/Positively Identified by Field Agents Graham & Smith in London, Halifax, San Francisco, Beaver Falls, Wanapitie, Nevis Island and St. Louis.” The document further authorized a “squish without prejudice” order by the commissioner of INSECT, Melina Schulz.

Sapphire and Cricket  inspected the documents for a few moments. They had never heard of INSECT and were genuinely surprised to see their little village of Wanapitie listed with all the other places. As all this was sinking in, the two men began to move, and Sapphire hastily placed the folders back on their neighbours’ seats.

 

WHAT IT IS NOT

It was a warm afternoon, and Frank James was in one of his favourite places on earth: the Mark Twain National Forest. Walking along the edge of the Eleven Point National River, James came across this curious looking fellow among the shrubs at the river’s edge. As James approached, a wickedly huge widow maker broke off from a pine tree adjacent to him and crashed to the ground missing him by no less than a foot. As James collected himself from the near-death experience,  this curious little insect flew very close to him and in James’s words, “winked” at him.

 

THE COMPOUND

 

blog photo 35 the house.JPG

WHAT IT IS

The newly formed international law enforcement agency, INSECT, purchased this compound in Northern Ontario, Canada to be used as its main North American research and enforcement headquarters.

The compound has seen hundreds of people coming and going in recent weeks, including the arrival of Monsanto’s Dr. Micheal K. Stern and University of Missouri’s Frank James aboard Samantha Gallant’s Cessna 182. Although not employees of INSECT, it is believed that they were consulted on several projects.

 

WHAT IT IS NOT

Equipped with an Olympic sized pool, a full gym, a track and field oval and a new frisbee pasture, philanthropist Jason Brisk has donated this facility to the International Canine Olympic Committee as a place for canine Olympians to relax and prepare for upcoming events.

Currently occupied by the Olympic teams from Nevis, controversy erupted at the facility when canines from North America and Europe accused Team Nevis of doping during the last Olympics.

THE DRAGONFLY

blog photo 29 the dragonfly.JPG

 

 

WHAT IT IS

The newly formed task force made up of the RCMP and the FBI has welcomed United Kingdom’s MI6 into the fold and the new organization is now known as INSECT (International Native Species and Exotic Creatures Tribunal).

In its first significant break through, INSECT released this photo of one of the culprits they believe participated in the kitchen attack at the Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco. It is INSECT’s contention that this dragonfly used its wings to prop open of a ceiling exhaust fan allowing throngs of other insects access to the kitchen area.

WHAT IT IS NOT

The Beaver County State Police and the City of Beaver Falls Police Department conducted a joint search and rescue mission involving a missing high school student.

The missing student, daughter of a Beaver Falls counsellor Drake Johnstone, was on a field trip with her entomology class when she was reported missing. As darkness fell and panic was setting in, a rookie patrolman spotted this dragonfly hovering and darting repeatedly over a rock outcrop. Curious, the patrolman went to where he observed the dragonfly and found the girl, tired but unharmed.

Coincidentally, when a pilot of a small aircraft who recently rescued the mayor of Beaver Falls was asked how she found the mayor, she simply replied; “ I followed the dragonflies.”