Tag: Nevis

THE PRESIDENT

 

blog photo 52 beanWHAT IT IS

The President of the International Canine Olympic Committee, pictured here, announced that the location of its new headquarters would be Dog Town, Mono County California. The long abandoned gold rush era town was purchased by the committee from Mono county officials for an undisclosed amount. Construction of the new facility is expected to start immediately with a completion date slated for late 2018.

The announcement also included results from the doping investigation undertaken after the inaugural canine Olympics. The investigation proclaimed that all medals awarded would stand as given. The investigators reasoned that the Nevis Olympic team ingested an unknown and undetermined compound that was not on the banned substance list.

 

WHAT IT IS NOT

It was perhaps the most complicated avalanche rescue ever undertaken in Western Canada. A group of skiers were swept away near the Sunshine Village ski resort and came to rest some forty feet under the snow, inside a rock ledge. The air pocket was only large enough for the six skiers to sustain themselves for a few hours.

A fourteen inch diameter hole was drilled down close to the skiers location and the wee pouch pictured here was outfitted with an air hose and medical supplies and lowered down to the skiers below. The rescue dog made his way to the huddled skiers waiting under the rock ledge. Heavy equipment was eventually brought into the site and all six Monsanto employees were rescued. An exhausted Dr. Micheal K. Stein had high praise for the canine and offered a sizable donation to the school training the rescue dogs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE TOWER

 

blog photo 37 tower ladder.JPGWHAT IT IS

Unlike the depraved bastards in Arkansas who throw live turkeys from an airplane to their deaths, Mutt Jefferson does quite the opposite. Once every three months Mutt climbs this tower with a peregrine falcon or two and gently encourages them to do what they do best.

This year Mutt released seven falcons; one seagull he rehabilitated from ingesting copious amounts of pesticides was also released.

WHAT IT IS NOT

Miles Hobbson, former deputy premier of Nevis, uses the platform atop this tower to record observations of UFO’s coming to earth from the regions around the star Mizar.

Equipped with a powerful telescope, Hobbson claims to have triangulated touchdowns in Beaver County, Pennsylvania, Halifax Stanfield International Airport, San Francisco, London, England and of course his beloved Nevis. To date, Hobbson has not offered an explanation of why these visitors are landing on earth.

THE COMPOUND

 

blog photo 35 the house.JPG

WHAT IT IS

The newly formed international law enforcement agency, INSECT, purchased this compound in Northern Ontario, Canada to be used as its main North American research and enforcement headquarters.

The compound has seen hundreds of people coming and going in recent weeks, including the arrival of Monsanto’s Dr. Micheal K. Stern and University of Missouri’s Frank James aboard Samantha Gallant’s Cessna 182. Although not employees of INSECT, it is believed that they were consulted on several projects.

 

WHAT IT IS NOT

Equipped with an Olympic sized pool, a full gym, a track and field oval and a new frisbee pasture, philanthropist Jason Brisk has donated this facility to the International Canine Olympic Committee as a place for canine Olympians to relax and prepare for upcoming events.

Currently occupied by the Olympic teams from Nevis, controversy erupted at the facility when canines from North America and Europe accused Team Nevis of doping during the last Olympics.

THE THISTLE

blog photo 30 the thistle

 

 

 

 

WHAT IT IS

When Samantha Gallant piloted her Cessna 182 with Missouri entomologist Frank James and two other research scientists to the Halifax Stanfield International Airport, she was not expecting to run into Cricket and Sapphire.

A news story broke out a week prior, describing unusually large thistle-type plants growing along the edge of the tarmac. Additionally, large bumblebees were said to be pollinating these plants.

When Cricket and Sapphire arrived, the entomologists were busy collecting samples and sending them off to Monsanto’s headquarters in Missouri. Try as they did, the scientists were unable to capture any bees and had to be satisfied with only plant samples.

WHAT IT IS NOT

A vacationing Sofia Zuniga was walking along a quiet beach on the Caribbean island of Nevis when she spotted a Canadian biologist from Weyburn Saskatchewan, examining some Canadian thistles, that definitely should not have been growing in this part of the world.

The biologist, Cinder Willoughby, was contacted by the deputy-premier of the island and asked if he could come to Nevis to study several unusual plants and insects species never before found on the island.

THE PLANT

 

 blog photo 23 white flower (2).jpgWHAT IT IS

The deputy-premier of the small Caribbean island Nevis, was widely ridiculed in parliament for his explanation of why this small country did so well in the first Canine Olympics held in Salt Lake City, Utah.

The deputy-premier claims he witnessed an Unidentified Flying Object take off in the early morning hours and when he went to investigate the phenomenon a circular pattern in the soil containing the above pictured plants is all that remained.

He further explained that the island’s dogs ravenously ate the flowers and became ‘superdogs’, thus allowing them to take home 21 gold, 15 silver and 12 bronze medals.

 

WHAT IT IS NOT

After several strange instances involving confrontations between citizens and the insect world, a joint task force between the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and  the Federal Bureau of Investigation have been formed.

Although officials from both agencies believe there is no grounds for concern, the task force has discovered what they suggest is an insect ‘flag’ of some kind. This banner depicts a flower that the world’s leading botanist have not been able to identify. Additionally, the word ENTOMOLOGY is displayed along the bottom of the flag.