THE TWO

 

blog photo 44 two  bugs.JPGWHAT IT IS

Melena Schulz stakes her comprehensive reputation that the insects in this photo are communicating a plan to disrupt a canola harvest somewhere in western Canada.

When Schulz graduated from the Dresden University of Technology with degrees in Forestry, Botany and Entomology, she was quickly recruited by the East German Stasi.

Her specialty in insect behavior led the Stasi to crack MI6’s bee communications programs in the 1970’s. She quickly advanced up the chain of command until 1987 when an advanced project to defoliate large areas of forested lands in Scandinavia, was rejected by the Minister of State Security.

Melena defected to the west, was employed for a time in Nitro, West Virginia by Monsanto as a ‘consultant’. She then went on to teach briefly at Dalhousie University and worked for a time at Nova Scotia’s Department of Lands and Forests.

When the International Native Species and Exotic Creatures Tribunal (INSECT) came knocking on her door to head up the organization, Melena Schulz was trained and ready.

WHAT IT IS NOT

Evangelical preacher Bokamoso Jacobs set up a mammoth tent outside Sun City, South Africa and was bringing in the faithful with his own brand of fire and damnation sermons.

The opulence of Sun City and the decadent pursuits of the visiting tourists, gave Jacobs plenty of fodder for his style of preaching. He often spoke of the sanctity and purity of gods creatures and to that end asked his flock, here and around the world, to send him photos of these magnificent creatures. The photo shown here was sent by a teddy bear from Northern Ontario, Canada.

An unintended consequence of this photo developed when agents with INSECT who were trolling the internet for random information, discovered that a usually inanimate teddy bear claimed to have sent this photograph. The agents immediately informed the ‘Exotic Creatures’ division of INSECT for further investigation.

 

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THE BEE

blog photo 11 bee.JPG

 

 

 

 

WHAT IT IS

 

In the late 1970s the East German Stasi had infiltrated the British Foreign Service, MI6, to the point where daily communication between MI6 offices and field operatives was suspect.

A botanist working at the fringes of the spy world, developed a team of bees outfitted with micro chips that were used to enhance communication between various MI6 locations.

Sapphire took this photo of a bee persistently hovering outside her hotel window. The concierge says the hotel is a long-abandoned MI6 safe house and the bee is most likely a “generational throw-back” to the bees of the 1970’s.

 

 

WHAT IT IS NOT

While walking along Oak St. in Vancouver, B.C., near the Van Dusen Botanical Gardens, the bee pictured above and several of his compadres were seen fleeing down the street and into the gardens.

Ambulances arrived shortly thereafter and took Hugh Grant, the CEO of Monsanto, to hospital.