WHAT IT IS
Flagstaff watched the solitary yellowjacket crawl along the edge of the roof of the gazebo for over two hours. It seemed to possess great purpose as it stopped to inspect each crack in the wood, each protruding nail. The insect had a special passion for a loose shingle on the north side of the roof and when he’d walk across it his entire body would shake and shimmy, his legs carrying him in jagged directions.
Five days later Flagstaff found herself in a small rural hospital, a doctor poking around her eyelids and a nurse standing statuesque in front of a monitor. As she came to, the doctor explained she was found on the side of the road by paramedics and they have since determined that she was administered a massive dose of wasp venom. Flagstaff recollects meeting with No.1 in a surreal, dreamlike state, but their interactions are vague and tentative.
WHAT IT IS NOT
The Tucker chain of bars and grills are the latest restaurants to suffer what appears to be a co-ordinated attack by insects in the Philadelphia area. The City of Brotherly Love saw five of its eating establishments over run with wasps, bees, crickets, roaches and ants. Speculation that the chains owner, Tom T. Tuckers’ recent tirade about harvesting millions of tons of insects to feed runaway human overpopulation may have led to the insect invasions.
Agents from INSECT are currently on scene and they have stated unequivocally that the disturbances have all the ear markings of a No.1 initiative.
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WHAT IT IS/WHAT IT IS NOT 